Anti-Raidism?

To raid, or not to raid. That is the question.

Vind asked me a couple of days ago "When are we going to see you in Ulduar with us?"

The answer flew off my fingers without thinking about it. "Whenever you want me."

My Pally is geared enough now to cope with the basics of raid tanking. He still has blue shoulders, but one night of raiding would give me enough emblems of triumph to replace them quickly anyway. Apart from that, and a couple of 'better' epics I can still get through emblems of conquest, I'm as geared up as I can be at this point.

I'm Def capped, my average HP in a 5-man is a little under 40k, I've got my macros all worked out and my layout and Ui configured well now. So what's stopping me going raiding?

Do I really want to?

I've enjoyed the laid-back approach to Heroics. You know that you're never going to be commited to the game for more than 15-30 minutes per time. It's rare that a run goes badly wrong these days, so emblem grinding is more just a case of scooping them up of the dead bodies every few minutes.
I just find the heroic-scene very sociable.There's no pressure, there's no fuss. There's very little discussion of boss tactics, apart from the occasional "shall we try for the achievement". Things just happen, smoothly, and it feels like things are being achieved.

While my Tanking set is almost where it should be, my healing gear is much more mis-matched. It's pretty epic. I know I've only got a few blues left anyway. But I'm in plate, and mail, and leather, and there might even be some cloth in there too
I know that armor type isn't as important for healers. My last Pally was a mis-match in Kara, and he healed just fine. For healers, it's stats-stats-stats. But it's all wrongly gemmed and I know there are better upgrades out there if I look for them.

Having said that, if I dropped some gold on the AH, I could probably gem my healing gear up nicely, and at least cope as the 2nd / 3rd healer in a 10-man.

I'm also a big believer that skill and experience can make up for lack of gear. There's no point trying to convince me otherwise. I know that it's the truth. The voices in my head tell me.
But in Ulduar, I have no experience, and since I've never even set foot inside, my skills are generic.
It'd be like dropping a freshly dinged level 80 in to the Noth encounter in Naxx. 2 seconds in, WTF, and the group wipes... I don't want to be that nooby.

Tanks are generally the group leaders, it just goes with the territory. And I can't lead what I don't know.
I'd be sat there waiting for Vind to tell me what I need to do, when it would just be simpler and probably more effective for him to do it himself. Why should every body else wait for me? And why should they have to die just because I don't know the encounters that well? They've done their dying, and paid their repair costs to reach the point they're up to.

So do I want to raid in Ulduar?

Yes.

Will I?

I'm not sure right now.

But until I make up my mind, I'll be available for heroics almost any time you see me online.